It’s Halloween. The 3 kids are going out for “trick or treat”.

When the little goblins return, the 1st has 8 pieces of candy. The 2nd scored 5 pieces, and the last only got 2.

In the interest of “fairness”, all 15 pieces of candy are confiscated. Each child is then given 4 pieces, so that they will all have the same number. The remaining 3 pieces are kept by Dad for “overhead expenses”.

But wait. There’s more!

The next year, the 3 spooks go back out on the streets to shake down the neighbors. They all know that the fruits of their labors will be confiscated and redistributed at the end of the night, so each comes up with a plan.

The 1st, most industrious and talented child, gets 9 pieces of candy. He eats one immediately and finds a hiding place for 3other pieces so that he will be able to enjoy more candy later. He brings home 5 pieces.

The 2nd child gets 5 pieces of candy for the 2nd year. He immediately eats one, knowing that if this year concludes like the last year, he will have no more than 4 pieces anyway. He brings home 4 pieces.

The 3rd child goes into the back yard and plays with the dog, since he knows he will get something regardless of his efforts.

The 9 pieces of candy are pooled together and distributed. Each child is given 2 pieces and Dad keeps 3. But Dad feels guilty for keeping more candy than each child gets, so he goes outside and beats up a passing “superhero” and takes his candy bag containing 7 pieces of candy. Each child is then given 2 more pieces of candy, and Dad keeps the odd piece as payment for his long night’s work.

The story continues:

The 3rd year comes. Dad takes the kids out to the street corner and they beat up all of the kids that come by, taking their candy. Before sending the vanquished looters on their way, each victim is allowed to keep 2 pieces of candy out of his or her bag. Dad and the kids each get 9 pieces of candy this year.

The 4th year, Dad and the kids are reunited after the kids are released from juvenile detention and Dad’s 6-month prison sentence is complete. They are prohibited by court order from ever committing “trick or treat” again. It’s a moot point, however, since all houses in the neighborhood are dark, no one answers the doors, and none of the local kids feel brave enough to dress up and go out on Halloween ever again. The local candy store has closed for lack of business, and the candy industry is in a severe decline.

But remember: it was “fair” to the kids involved.

And that, my friends, is Halloween socialism.

Scary, isn’t it?

Warning: Golf can be hazardous to your health. That is, unless you watch out for flying boats.

Read it for yourself.

Why can’t I make up stuff like this?

I wish I was making stuff like this up, but I’m not.

Why does everyone else get to do the bad puns?

Or is that redundant?

This story on WorldNetDaily contains too many bad puns to pass up.

That’s all I’m going to say, or this post will degenerate into something worse than just the title.

Read the story. You’ll understand. Maybe.